offering

"Lord, if it is you," Peter replied, "tell me to come to you on the water."
"Come," he said.
Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, "Lord, save me!"
Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. "You of little faith," he said, "why did you doubt?" Matt 14:28-31

i think our cell had a somewhat "walking on water" experience during the Christmas party with the PRC students yesterday. we only found out on the 16th that we had to host them on eve and Christmas, which gave us about a week to plan a Christmas programme for 37 PRC students whom we'd never met before, and who had only just arrived in SG in the past week.

praise God for the unity within the cell group, and for everyone's willingness to serve. it was really "Go" from the moment we heard the "Come", and i was very encouraged by the obedience which everyone displayed. like Peter, our faith grew through this experience, because we learnt that it is when we are on water, when we are doing things that are supernatural and impossible within our own means, that we grow in our dependence on God's power and grace.

sharon told us to be very intentional in befriending them and sharing with them about Jesus, and so i found myself doing 3 things that i am not good at/uncomfortable with during this event: befriending a large group of strangers, speaking in Chinese, and sharing the gospel. it was pushing me way out of my comfort zone, but at the end of it, i am glad for it because it was the right thing to do. i have been in the boat for too long, when the place for Christian living is really on the water.

my heart for the PRCs really melted during the small group time, when we asked them about what Christmas meant to them and shared with them the real Christmas story. they asked so many questions and they were so eager to know more about Jesus. their ignorance pained me, and i say "ignorance" with no sense of disdain or judgement, just that that was the overwhelming sense i got from all the questions and their listening looks. i think it was then, when i was sharing with them about God's love shown through Jesus, that i realised again how much i lost when i gave up my cell girls, when i decided i couldn't continue being a cell leader. the whole set-up reminded me of those days when i took them for cell, and i know again that it was, and it has always always been, a privilege to serve. it is always a privilege to serve.

sometimes i feel like there are so many people to care for, and i don't want to take on more because i cannot give anymore of myself. but seeing the PRCs, and remembering my ex-cell members, i cannot help but ache for them, and long to make space in this crowded heart for them.